The Wrong Getaway
By: Paris Finnie
“Don’t worry I will pull out before I finish”
“ are you sure that you will know I mean this is kind of my first time”
“yes girl just trust me ok”
“ok…”
And that was the pretty much the way that I came into this world unexpected and a mistake. Which would probably explain the reason that I am the way that I am if that makes sense? Unlike some couples that have this happen, my parents stayed together and they are still together now we all live in the same house. My parents they are very much in love but I doubt that is the case because way too often I hear them fighting and every once in a while we get a monthly visitor. Except that visitor is the cops and my dad gets taken away for a little but he always comes back. Let me try and give you a little history about my family just in case you are a little confused. As I told you earlier my parents had me when well, my dad Bill, was eighteen years old and my mom Shayna was fourteen. My parents met at a taco shop at least that’s what they told me. After my mom found out she was pregnant she tried to hide it from my grandparents but after a while she could not because her stomach was too big. My dad tried and tried to get her to convince her of an abortion but she was against killing a baby because it would hurt it to much. Funny because I don’t even remember that far back, well being in my mom and all, but I do thank her for not killing me way back then. So when my mom gave birth to me she was still in high school, I ended up spending a lot of time with my grandma who I call nana. I never did meet my dad’s parents because he moved out as soon as he was able to, something about them not getting along very well. When I was three my mom got kicked out the house for coming home drunk I don’t remember much but nana said that she was trying to feed me food that was not good for me something like French fries. My dad got into it with nana and said that we were all moving out he was going to get his own house so we didn’t have to deal with her anymore. So, mom ran away but the cops always brought her back to her parent’s house until she turned eighteen. That’s when mom just moved in with my dad, my dad said he was to smart for college so he never went. They both moved into the house not too far from nana’s house so every once and a while I would be able to see my mother. I was still too young to remember much about seeing her, but nana told me that she would bring me back late, and I would be wearing the same diaper that I was wearing when I left. So nana would not let her take me away. Nana also told me that my parents did not really have a job so they did what they could for money. My dad was a drug dealer, and my mom was a working woman, but not the average work someone would do the job that pays a lot but is not legal illegal if you catch my drift. When my mom turned twenty she got addicted to heroin. Yet my dad still made her work as well did he. By that time I was six and in fourth grade. That’s when the worst thing that could have happened, happened. I remember it like it was yesterday
“today we will have a pop quiz, on the multiplication tables from the last week”
“Ugh, I hate tests so much”
“Don’t worry you will be fine my nana and I studied by doing each individual number and its multiplies over and over”
I remember that we graded our tests the same day and I saw that I got an A+ I was so excited. When I got on the bus all I could think about was the good grade. Nana would be so proud of me for having these grades because I know we had studied hard. Before I went to the house I ran into some of my friends who outside and we played outside for a few minutes then, when I got home I ran into the house I rang the door bell but nobody answered. Lucky for me I knew about a secret way to get into my house I broke into the house, and walked upstairs to nana’s room. It felt like it was a scene for a scary movie it was all black and white she was in her favorite rocking chair, the window was down and she was in the room looking out the window. The curtains blew in her face, bringing the cold winds past her face brushing against my cheeks. Her rocking chair was always placed on the right side of her bed so it was directly next to the window. She liked to look outside during the day and listen to the neighborhood. I walked up to nana and I thought she had fallen asleep like usually. So I left the room and went back into mine. I sat down and turned on the television and my favorite show was playing. Dexter’s laboratory. I remember watching it over and over because it was a marathon. It was starting to get late when I went to nana’s room to see if she would make some of her famous hamburgers. When I got there she was still sitting the way I left her. Nana never sleeps that long so I shook her, when I shook her she didn’t wake, I didn’t know what to do there was no way Nana could be dead she is supposed to take care of me until I got old and I could take care of her. The week before she had told me that if I ever got into trouble or if I saw someone in trouble to call 911, so that’s what I did.
“Hello this is 911 what is your emergency “
“Hello?”
“Yes this is 911 what’s your emergency”
“My Nana is sleeping and she won’t wake up “
“Who Is Nana sir?”
“Nana is my grandma”
“How old are you?”
“I am ten years old”
“Where do you live sir?”
“Umm 644 University Street it is in San Diego”
“okay we will be there shortly okay, stay inside the house please”
After that I remember waiting for the police for hours but they said it only took twenty minutes. They brought me and grandma into the ambulance because I was the only one in the house and they didn’t want to leave me by myself. They stuck an I.V into her arm but they said that she didn’t have a pulse.
“How long was she out son?”
“I don’t know I found her like this”
“Well you did the right thing…”
“So is she going to be alright?”
“Let’s wait for the doctor to give the final reading ok? We’re almost there”
Finally we arrived to the hospital and they took her away into the back, I was stuck there in the waiting room. Roughly about ten minutes later the doctor came outside and greeted me. I kind of remember what he said, it went something like this.
“Hi are you her grandson”
“Yes that is me, how is my Nana?”
“Well son we did all that we could, but I am sorry son we could do nothing to save her”
My heart felt like it was in my throat all I could think about was how I could not help the person who had helped me all these years.
“When did she pass?”
“Well it seems that she had a heart attack around three thirty”
That’s when it hit me, I killed my Nana. I got home from school at three fifteen. If I had not gotten that good grade, if I had not stayed and played outside with my friends. I would have been able to save her but now she is dead and I have no one. I remember crying and crying until I could no more. I came to the conclusion crying would never bring my Nana back, crying would never take back what happened that day. I passed out from exhaustion and when I awoke I was with my mom at least I think it was my mother. She looked so skinny I could almost see her bones on her face. She told me that she found me lying down in the waiting room. She went to the hospital because the doctor had called her over.
“Where is my dad?”
“Your father is at work he will be home later okay?”
“Okay mom how long until we get home?”
“We are just getting here now so welcome to your new home”
I remember looking outside into this shithole I would be calling my home for the next couple of years. The roof looked like it was about to fall off. The grass looked like it had not been cut in at least a century. It was nothing like what Nanas house looked like. It was an ugly black, two story houses, with the window hatches looking like they were going to fall off. The paint on the house was peeling off and there were too many spider webs to count. I could not even imagine being happy living here. We got out the car and went into the house and she showed me my room. The bed looked semi decent but the room really scared me the wallpaper was peeling off the wall and it had a sour smell to it. I knew no one in the neighborhood and I could not really find a reason to meet anyone new. I decided that I was completely complacent with me,myself, and I. So to keep myself entertained I started writing, it started as a way of expression on paper, but later turned into rhyming the end of every sentence with the one before it, well you know what I mean, the first poem I ever wrote was called tear drops and it went like this
Tear Drops, your so small but your representation is so big,
Tear Drops, I first met you when I was a little kid,
Tear Drops, everyone uses you because we are just human beings,
Tear Drops, so many people use you to symbolize their feelings,
Tear Drops, sometimes I wish you didn’t exist,
Tear Drops, if you didn’t would I feel like this,
Tear Drops, you’re the result of so many peoples pain,
Tear Drops, I see you come down faces like rain,
Tear Drops, I use you so often you’re like my closest friend,
Tear Drops, you hurt so bad but I expect to see you again
So, every day when I went to school I would count the seconds until it would be over. I could not stand it I didn’t have much in Terms of friends because the ones I did have, pissed me off. I spent my lunchtimes by myself eating the lunch that my mom prepared for me. She always made me peanut butter and Jelly sandwiches. My guess is because they were cheaper to have a bundle of. This process repeated itself for a couple of years when I turned sixteen. I met this guy named lance he was really cool, like extremely cool. We would always kick it in class. He was like a new kid who had just flew in from northern California. When he got into class nobody would talk to him. I personally don’t know why, maybe it was because his long hair. Or the jackets he wore had prints of rock bands, kind of like he sowed them on himself. After school we would always go to his house because I was a little ashamed of mine. His parents were nice to me, he told me that they were always yelling at him for small things and he hated is parents. I will never forget the day we were leaving school and pulled out his backpack and showed me this green stuff it smelled really bitter and looked like moss if you wrapped it up onto itself. He said that he had found it in his parent’s cupboard and his parents had no idea that he had taken it. He told me
“I did some research and to use it you have to smoke it like a cigarette.”
“Is this stuff bad for you??”
“I don’t think so my dad uses it for his back pains.”
“Oh that’s cool well why not lets try this”
I will never forget the first time I smoked pot, I was coughing a lot. He kept telling me to hold my breath and take it in. I did and everything got blurry like I was about to fall asleep, but I was not tired at all. Lance kept laughing at me, and I laughed at him laughing at me it was funny but looking back at it now it was not that funny. On the way home I remember getting really really hungry, like I craved some chips or something small. So, we stopped at a seven eleven and bought some chips. We went to his house and ran into his room so his parents would not see us and ask us questions. We sat on his bed and stared at the wall probably for a couple hours, but it only seemed like it was a couple of minutes. We both passed out when I woke up it was around eight-ish I figured my parents would be worrying about me so I ran home, and on the way I ran into some gangsters who stopped me.
“Where the fire at playa”
“What do you mean?”
“Why are you running so fast lil nigga stay and chill”
“Oh sorry I am just late for curfew”
“How old is you… wait you look real familiar but I can’t figure out why”
“You must have me mistaken I have never met you before”
“Oh I know who you are. You that nigga bill’s kid you look just like him”
At that point I was confused and could not figure out which way I should go. Should I pretend to not know who he is talking about, or ask him how he knows my dad? Let’s check both scenarios.
“I have no idea who you are talking about man”
“Listen like kid don’t bull shit me the one thing I hate more than anything is people bullshitting me you see this right here? It is my Glock; you know what I use this for?”
“No I don’t know”
I remember at that exact moment i was about to piss myself
“I use this to deal with the bullshitters”
“Please I don’t know who you are talking about “
“Oh I think you do. In this game two strikes and you are out young gunna”
Gun blast and I died so let’s not try this way so rewind sound good?
“How do you know my dad?”
“Oh so you really are his kid? Well kid I’m his dealer and your pops owes me money”
“What do you mean you are his dealer?”
“Listen your pops owes me money and let this be a message to him aight”
He punched me in the face and I don’t remember too much after that. Everything went kind of hazy I barely remember him saying to tell my dad that Darrell says to pay what you owe. When I woke up I was on my lawn. I walked into my house where my parents were passed out on the couch it was like they didn’t even know that I was missing. I tapped my mom on the shoulder and she didn’t wake up. I tapped my dad on the shoulder and he did not wake up either. I went into my room and I tried to write a little bit and it came out like this
Girls Rock it you know they jock it,
because I role with more players than the Huston Rockets,
Put your hand in the air if you feel me,
tell the judge to fuck off if your guilty,
Give me the chance ima dip out quick,
because id rather die then be some bodies bitch,
Right after that I passed out. The next day I went to school and I waited for lance outside of school like I usually do but, he was not there. A whole day went by and no lance. After school ended I went to his house to see why he was not there and his family was packing. His mother passed from garage to the front door so I stopped her. When she turned around she had tears in her eyes. I asked her what was wrong and she said:
“It is all your fault, never come back to this house ever again”
“I don’t understand what happened?”
“You left your stupid key in his room and he went to your house because he thought that you might have needed it. He never came back home. We called the police and they found his body. My son is dead because of you!”
“Wait no this can’t be happening I never wanted this!”
I ran home as fast as I could with tears in my eyes all I could think about was that day we smoked. It was one of the worst days of my life. When I arrived home my parents stopped me:
“We heard what happened to your friend, and we are sorry… what happened to your face!?”
“I don’t want to talk about it; I will be in my room”
I remember crying nonstop until I passed out. When I awoke my parents were in my room.
“Is there anything we can do for you?”
“The only thing that I want you to do is leave me alone”
My parents left and I stayed in my room. I fell asleep again The next day I woke up extra early so no one would be awake. I left the house and walked to school on the way there I ran into Darrell again he stopped me
“Hey you see what happened to that little kid?”
“What lil kid”
“The lil gay boy with the long hair”
When I heard that I flipped out and I punched him as hard as I could
“That kid was my best friend!”
“Relax Lil Bill you don’t want to see the Glock do you”
“Ok I’m relaxed”
“What you need is a real relaxer. Check this out, the first one is on me”
He pulled out this stuff it was in a bag, it was black like tar.
“This right here is called heroin burn it down on a spoon get a syringe and inject it into your veins you will never feel stressed again.”
“Are you kidding me never again?”
“Yes this one is on me it looks like you need it”
I walked away and instead of going to school I went to CVS to get the supplies. I went back home because I knew by the time I got there no one would be at the house. In my room, I burnt it down on a spoon, put it into the syringe and injected it into my arm. At first I didn’t feel anything, nothing at all, it became dead silent I looked around, and I was no longer in my room. I was in a big black room there were no walls no floors no roof. I felt like I had escaped what you call reality. I was flying away from my problems, I had never been happier than the way I was right then and there. Finally, I started to land mentally and I felt cold. What seemed like five minutes was really an hour. My legs needed to move, they could not stand still, I could not sit still either. After feeling so cold I started to scratch, scratch at the bugs which were covering my entire body. I felt so sick and knew the only way to get rid of this shitty feeling was to get more. I ran out my room and went outside to where I knew I would find Darrell.
“I need more of whatever you gave me”
“Wow that was really fast, how was your trip?”
“Enough with the small talk give me more of that shit you got”
“Like I said before the first one is free this is going to cost you”
“I don’t care. I have this much left, two hundred bucks, give me all you have”
He gave me fifteen bags and I put them all in my backpack and ran back home. I stashed the bag underneath my bed; I knew that no one would search there. That night my parents decided to have dinner all together. At the dinner table they had pizza
“How are you son?”
“I’m fine dad”
“How was school today?”
“It was the same as it always is, boring”
“Well I hope that you understand how important an education is”
“How are you going to tell me how important an education is? What do you even know about school, you can’t even keep a 1.0 grade average.”
“Watch how you talk to your father”
“How can you even take his side? Is that what you thought to yourself as he pimped your sorry ass?”
“That is enough! get out of this house right now and come back when you learn some respect.”
“Whatever you bitch. Like I want to stay in this shit hole anymore anyways”
I walked into my room got my backpack and began walking out of my room when one of the bags fell out, my dad picked it up.
“Where did you get this!?”
“What does it matter to you!?”
“I asked you a question god damnit?”
“You see my black eye your good friend Darrell gave me this because you owe him money and gave me that the next day”
“Who is Darrell, Bill?”
“He is no one Shayna. This does not involve you”
“Yes it involves me he is my son too”
“Don’t play stupid dad you know damn well who he is”
“Ok, ok what the hell are you doing with him?”
“Wait you know who Darrell,is Bill I thought you said you were clean!”
“Listen I was really stressed and needed a relaxer”
“God Damnit Shayna not now”
“I’m leaving both of you guys, mom, dad, have a good one”
I went out and I ran away as far as I could I found an ally and decided to shoot up. The next day I was awoken by the police who said that I was being brought in for question. At that point I was still coming off my high. They sat me down, and started to ask me questions.
“Why did you leave your house last night?”
“I didn’t want to be there last night”
“Your father has been murdered son and we don’t know by whom”
“What! Are you serious?”
I began to cry
“Yes he was found on the streets and no one has seen anything. You were found outside the house, do you understand how this looks?”
“I didn’t kill my father!”
“Listen we have to take you in until things get worked out”
They took me to the jail where I was with some other kids my age. Not long after I got there they said that I was bailed out and my mom was there. She took me home I ran into my room and began to cry she shortly came in my room and rubbed my back, and began to cry too.
“I’m going to find out who did this to dad”
“Please let the police handle this I don’t want you to get into anymore trouble than you are.”
“Ok mom I won’t. I’m going to go to sleep, I’m really tired”
“Ok baby rests up you have a big day tomorrow”
Around two in the morning I wrote this song that made me feel better. Then I snuck out the house and looked for Darrell when I found him he had a really big smile on his face.
“You back for revenge lil man?”
“What are you talking about dude?”
“You mean you really don’t know”
“Darrell what are you talking about?”
And then it all hit me at the same time.
“You killed my father didn’t you, you sick son of a bitch.”
“He tried to bull shit me”
“Is it really that easy for you to tear a family apart. He did not deserve to die”
“And what are you going to do about it?”
“What I should have done days ago”
I charged at him and before he could pull out his gun I knocked it out of his hand. He looked to where it fell and so did I. When it registered he punched me in my jar so hard it felt like he broke it. I then ran for the gun. I got up and tackled him to the floor, a syringe flew out of his pocket and soon we were both on the floor he batted my face with his fists and elbow to get me off. One of his punches knocked me off him and I spun on my stomach and tried to get up and run for the gun. When he got one of his legs up and was preparing to raise the other I grabbed his feet but he dragged me a on the concrete floor. He stopped and started to kick me in the ribs and face to make me let go. My grip came loose when I saw the syringe on the floor I picked it up and ran at him. When he bent down to pick up the gun I lunged at him and landed the syringe right into his neck he pulled the trigger and I felt heat going through my chest immediately I felt the cold of my blood seeping through the whole in my chest. The same instance I injected air into his neck when we both fell to the floor. Throughout my body I felt it going numb. Things started to get colder. I looked at Darrell and he had died. And I was alone. The surroundings started to grow black. I died that day, alone. It was the only appropriate that I die the same way I was born and lived my life. I hope that someone finds that song because that’s where my story lives.
